Childhood can be ruined in three ways: not enough love, too much love, just enough love.
Each of these states can have two distinct ways – let’s call them hot and cold.
1. Not enough love:
1.1. Hot – beating, physical or sexual abuse, threat to health or life.
1.2. Cold – abandoment, emotional and psychological abuse, verbal threats.
2. Just enough love:
2.1. Hot – motivation, plenty of work, personal growth, planned and structulized upbringing.
2.2 Cold – a lot of freedom, doing what you want.
3. Too much love:
3.1. Hot – invading personal space, constant hugging, kissing and spoiling.
3.2. Cold – strict etiquette, rules, isolation from certain activities, even with no apparent reason.
And there’re of course various mixtures of the above. Whenever I mention this, people get furious – half of the time, they try to prove that their situation was worse than the others – OR – using a rape argument, and half of the time they question that there’s all there is.
Both groups seem to have some sort of the ideation about a perfect conditions somewhere out there under which they’d be happy and fulfilled. However, the simple truth is that if you weren’t complaining about your upbringing, you’d be complaining about something else. We have a need to demonize our upbringing to rationalise our own mistakes in life.
Cruicial part of the slave morality is to always blame external factors for your personal failures. This way, our own self image is preserved from a scary realisation that our failures are our very own fault.
Latchkey kids will always be thinking that people raised in a house full of people had it better. People from those houses will always be jealous over latchkey kids’ freedom.
In truth however, a latchkey kid couldn’t stand constant control and bickering and a kid raised in a controlled environment would feel constantly left out with too much time in their hands and too much existential fear to function properly.